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CHARACTERS
in
Page Seven:
in Demortuis
The Ups and Downs of Skeeter Kitefly
Skeeter Kitefly's Sugardaddy Confessor
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Skeeter Kitefly's
Titular Assets
COMPACTIFICATION
behind the scenes
RoBynne O'Ring's
GRUNTS OF
PASSION
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TO BE HONEST
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Last Updated
February 02, 2010
Angelique Faye (Eek) Eisenhauer, MD
OB/GYN, Medical Director of the Eisenhauer
Women’s Health Center, and the McSorleys’s neighbor in Leveret Circle;
Vicki’s best friend, employer, and care provider in Southerlies
Suzette (Zetty) Macduffin
Eek’s daughter; Courtney’s surrogate big
sister, called "Zett" or "Z"
Boyd Bruno (B.B./Beeb) Eisenhauer
Eek’s father: a wealthy and prominent
figure in Demortuis
Gracie Eisenhauer
Eek’s mother; retired with Beeb to Hawaii
Arnold Funk Eisenhauer
"The Absent Friend": Eek’s older brother,
who died in childhood before she was born
Lucas Macduffin, MD
"St. Luke" aka "Lewwwwk": Eek’s ex-husband,
father of Zetty
Charlene DeHaas
Realtor who sold Eek her house in Leveret
Circle and introduced her to "the Other Side of the Mountain," sexually
speaking
Bruce ("the Moose") Knute
Previous owner of the McSorley house in
Leveret Circle; driven out after trying to blackmail Eek
Buffy Knute
Bruce’s wife: divorced him, took the house,
and bought a stable of riding horses
Ramona
Volatile but uninteresting woman whom Eek
was seeing in 1998
Grant Sapecks
Managing Director of JJL&A Demortuis
Bill Whipple
Account Executive at JJL&A Demortuis,
handling Best-Cretur Petfoods; lived in Southerlies
Phyllis (Phyl) Whipple
Bill’s charmingly snooty wife, who sold
toiletries; the Whipples and McSorleys were good friends
Dylan (Dyl) Whipple
Bill and Phyl’s son, away at college and
grad school till 2002, then employed at Best-Cretur; Dawn’s boyfriend
Hannah Proctor and Arielle Apthorp
Media Buyers at JJL&A Demortuis
Thelma Harris, RN
Nurse Manager at the Eisenhauer Women’s
Health Center
Abigail Addison (née Gail Queenright)
Patient of Eek’s: onetime Miss America,
portrayer of Marcella on TV’s Cinnabar Mountain, and second wife of
Nilnisi Governor Jeremy Addison
Mr. Queenright
Gail’s aged father, who threatened to punch
a prominent right-wing media pundit
Jeremy (Jem) Addison
Gail’s second husband: Governor of Nilnisi
in 1998 and candidate for the 2000 Democratic presidential nomination
Lou Heliopoulos
Democratic candidate for Congress in
Illinois, who took on incumbent Melissa Chiese Munger in 1998
Lydia Bampe
Zetty’s precociously tattooed best friend
in high school, then roommate for one year in college; later a morbid Goth
Internet model
Helmy and Sonia Bampe
Lydia’s Tunisian-born parents: both worked
for Soluco Telecom’s IT department
Hisham Bampe
Lydia’s older brother; attended MIT
Tim "Iggy" Natwick
Zetty’s creepy-crawly admirer in high
school
Taylor, Gabrielle, and Destiny
Courtney’s friends and classmates at Butler
Elementary School in Southerlies
Jordan "Jar Jar" Whelk
IT telecommuter whom the Bampes took in as
a boarder in 1999; Lydia turned him into her personal slaveboy/playtoy
John Cameron "Johnny" McSorley III
The second child that Vicki and Corky tried
in vain to conceive, 2000-01
Rachael
Tall Brazilian model with a bossa nova body
Paige "Frito" Fritter
Unhappy fat girl who became a leading par-tay
element of Lydia and Zetty’s C-Club (which admitted only offbeat girls
wearing that cup size)
Shannon O'Hanrahan
Popular-crowd student who demanded (and was
denied) membership in the C-Club
Gary Schlaghammer
Zetty’s high school boyfriend, who later washed out of Marine boot camp and committed
a grisly crime
Dawn Ribera, RN
"Rosy Dawn," called "Dawn Anna Banana" and "Trix" by
Courtney: young nurse at EWHC who lived with
the McSorleys, 2002-03; might have been the
baby that Monica Volester gave up in 1980
Isabel Ribera
Dawn’s much-missed adoptive mother, who
died
of cervical cancer
Fernando Ribera
Dawn’s adoptive father: a deputy sheriff in
west Nilnisi’s Manymoons County
Priscilla Ribera
"Ms. Prissy": Fred’s second wife, of whom
Dawn was not a big fan
Sister Raquel
Corky’s classic Older Woman crush, back in
parochial school
Juanita Tulabing
Gary’s victim in San Diego: a social work
student who delivered Meals on Wheels; greatly mourned and memorialized as
"the Tulip Girl"
Claudia
Friend of Vicki’s who worked in the
University of Nilnisi Medical Center’s ER
Bert the Wiseguy
Connected with the Casa Hoover Casino Hotel
in Las Vegas
Mushu
The McSorleys’s Shih Tzu puppy, bought
after Natasha the cat died of old age in 2003
Sharmila Sawhney, PhD
"The Swanee Swami," hired by Eek from Florida State University; Vicki’s shrink in Southerlies
The Skeeter Kitefly Website
and Split Infinitive Productions
Copyright © 2002-2010 by P. S. Ehrlich;
All Rights Reserved.
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